S P O N T A N E I T Y.

Fantasy

The Girl.

I can be sorry ~~I am sorry~~ for holding on this long, but I will never be sorry for continually loving you.

And so, you would ask whose blog is this you're visiting.

Black and white//
Maria Immanuelle Cubacub Devela
Mariel, Yel
19 y.o.
Ateneo De Manila University | Health Sciences Junior
From the south.

In a limited spectrum//
I don't know what people think of me. Neither do I know what I think of myself, in a concrete sense. Well, the main reason for this might be the fact that I am easily attracted to random, weird things. But deep beneath this lack of knowledge lies a girl who prays for appreciation and love.

I have this slight aspiration of mixing up art and sciece as I live.

Relative to my course, yes, I am kick-starting my journey in the field of medicine. I would love it if my future is spent running along hospital hallways saving people's butt from danger. I think I want to be that kickass surgeon everyone's talking about. If you wonder about the length of time it would take me before I actually become one, well I don't mind. I have these wonderful people I live with - friends, family, you name it - and I'm sure it would never be any less boring compared to a life of a rockstar.

I also consider 50% of my life as an artist. I draw, I design, and I write. Although I always find myself stuck in a transcient reality, I use this up for my own personal needs. It's awesome!

Some people tell me I have this bipolar disorder. According to Dictionary.com,bipolar affective disorder is "a mental health problem characterized by an alternation between extreme euphoria and deep depression." It's considerable given that I have an INFJ personality thingy. At times, I stop and pause to scrutinize myself and actually consider such problem. But then, oh well.

To tell you frankly, I can't remember when I started drenching myself with music and letting it take another part of my life. Yet, I stand today claiming how much I love it. I actually appreciate bands so much, it's verging on frustatration! Kidding. But then, I really do like listening to them and all those awesome lyrics behind the loud drumbeats and guitarstrums.

I could go on and on spending days typing all these stuffs I like, but I might ran out of 'profile' page. So, as for now, I only offer these.

Hope you consider reading this internet space. :)

Much love & respect,
♥Yel

Wishes
[x] Everyday electric/acoustic guitar [x] New Guitar Pick/plectrum
[] Personalized Keds
[x] ~~64-Crayola Box~~ Julie gave me 96, ♥ her!
[x] Vans slip-ons
[] T-shirts/Tops
   (x)White V-neck
   (x)Pink V-neck
   ()Monster-designed
   (x)Strawberry Shirt
[] Paramore Original CD's
    () All We Know Is Falling
    () Riot
    (x) The Final Riot
    (x) Brand New Eyes
[] Jackets
    ()Leather
    (x)Adidas-AteneoSesqui
    (x)Pop-designed
    (x)Plain
    (x)Cardigan
[] Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty
[] Left4Dead2
[] Graphic Tablet

Lusts
[] Personal Digital Camera
[x] Laptop
[] Room

Break the ~~silence~~ Ice.

Hi's, Hello's and Hugs.

Hello, friends! It would really make me absolutely happy if you leave a comment here, stating anything.

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♘ Escapism

9.07.2010 @ 1:47 PM;

Saturday night was a bit devastatingly beautiful for me and this brand new chapter of my life. Since I was not fully aware of certain organizational activities and I have no intention to pretend that everything is and will be okay, I joined my parents plus my younger brother head off to Pampanga.

Mikel and I were prepping ourselves for bed. As usual, I had to go through several mind-boggling, life-confusing thoughts before I decide on what to do. I turned on the TV and watched a movie. I think it was He's Just Not That into You that I watched. Despite the fact that this was actually a rom-com film, there was a certain point when things hit me and my mind was rather filled with reflections of him and all our moments together and how slowly, everything are being put into waste.

Yes, I cried a few tears. Just when the tears fall off of my cheeks, I checked my phone and saw that it was 12mn sharp. Yes, I whispered a little 'happy birthday,' but there were more messages inside my head. Improper messages. Senseless messages. Messages of love and affection.

I still love you, no matter how much distance we have, emotionally, theoretically.

Everything is not quite doing well. Most often than not, I pretend that nothing's wrong only because showing how much you're hurt won't make sense to other people, more so this inability to move on. I don't know when or if I'll ever move on. I don't know anything.

So, why escapism?

As defined by the dictionary, it is 'the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, esp. by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.'

And, this blog, more than anything, is an escape. So was what I did last Saturday. Literally, all my life is.

Sparks of home keep this burning.

Labels: love