S p o n t a n e i t y
As this spectrum reflects your favorite colors, it will absorb all your monotones.
Fantasy
The Girl.
I can be sorry
And so, you would ask whose blog is this you're visiting.
Black and white//
Maria Immanuelle Cubacub Devela
Mariel, Yel
19 y.o.
Ateneo De Manila University | Health Sciences Junior
From the south.
In a limited spectrum//
I don't know what people think of me. Neither do I know what I think of myself, in a concrete sense. Well, the main reason for this might be the fact that I am easily attracted to random, weird things. But deep beneath this lack of knowledge lies a girl who prays for appreciation and love.
I have this slight aspiration of mixing up art and sciece as I live.
Relative to my course, yes, I am kick-starting my journey in the field of medicine. I would love it if my future is spent running along hospital hallways saving people's butt from danger. I think I want to be that kickass surgeon everyone's talking about. If you wonder about the length of time it would take me before I actually become one, well I don't mind. I have these wonderful people I live with - friends, family, you name it - and I'm sure it would never be any less boring compared to a life of a rockstar.
I also consider 50% of my life as an artist. I draw, I design, and I write. Although I always find myself stuck in a transcient reality, I use this up for my own personal needs. It's awesome!
Some people tell me I have this bipolar disorder. According to Dictionary.com,bipolar affective disorder is "a mental health problem characterized by an alternation between extreme euphoria and deep depression." It's considerable given that I have an INFJ personality thingy. At times, I stop and pause to scrutinize myself and actually consider such problem. But then, oh well.
To tell you frankly, I can't remember when I started drenching myself with music and letting it take another part of my life. Yet, I stand today claiming how much I love it. I actually appreciate bands so much, it's verging on frustatration! Kidding. But then, I really do like listening to them and all those awesome lyrics behind the loud drumbeats and guitarstrums.
I could go on and on spending days typing all these stuffs I like, but I might ran out of 'profile' page. So, as for now, I only offer these.
Hope you consider reading this internet space. :)
Much love & respect,
♥Yel
Wishes
[x] Everyday electric/acoustic guitar [x] New Guitar Pick/plectrum
[] Personalized Keds
[x]
[x] Vans slip-ons
[] T-shirts/Tops
(x)White V-neck
(x)Pink V-neck
()Monster-designed
(x)Strawberry Shirt
[] Paramore Original CD's
() All We Know Is Falling
() Riot
(x) The Final Riot
(x) Brand New Eyes
[] Jackets
()Leather
(x)Adidas-AteneoSesqui
(x)Pop-designed
(x)Plain
(x)Cardigan
[] Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty
[] Left4Dead2
[] Graphic Tablet
Lusts
[] Personal Digital Camera
[x] Laptop
[] Room
Break the silence Ice.
Hi's, Hello's and Hugs.
Hello, friends! It would really make me absolutely happy if you leave a comment here, stating anything.
CBOX issues: Please take note that once you entered your comment, it's automatically there already. You just have to refresh your browser, then click on the snowflake icon again. I apologize for the inconvenience.
8.31.2010 @ 1:07 AM;
I don't want to sleep tonight.
Well, I am sleepy and dead tired but I won't sleep tonight. I don't know what I'm going to do, perhaps study or waste time, but I know I don't want to sleep. Too many things running around my head, too much pain, too much loneliness.
I don't know why everything happens all at once. I'm trying to keep whatever. At the same time, I want to burst from this emotion-filled day. Hope and despair are in constant pull for me to consider which side I'll take. Still undecided.
I thought I feel safe here. I am now filled with doubts here and there. I wanted to shout at the people concerned, out of rage, but I just can't, out of love. I wanted to confront them, but I have no strength nor courage. I wanted to fix things, but I don't know if I am in a position to do so.
I wanted to hate, but there's just so much love that I want to cry instead.
I was looking for somebody to talk to, I found none. I don't know what to do. I don't know what would happen next. I don't know what I'd do next. I don't know.
What if I commit...?
What if I start...?
What if I start...?
What if I stop...?
What if I...?
:(
Labels: life, loneliness, pangungulila, personal story
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